Monday, October 31, 2011

Can't Sleep

I can't sleep.  I have a cold. (sniff, sniff)  Oh, I've tried.  I've layed in there for two hours trying to suppress my cough so I could get to sleep and not bother Steve.  But you know how it goes, the more you try to stop coughing; the more you cough.  Then Gloria was snoring to beat the band and I rolled over and Fred's paw was in my face.  His back paw.  And..........where there's a back paw, there's a butt.   So, I gently folded the blankets over his little tush (I wanted to say lard a#@ but thought, nah.)  Well, then I started to get itchy.  You know how you get one little itch and then the next thing ya know your itchy everywhere and that's all you can think about.  When your sick and  menopausal to boot , you can't shut your brain off and you think of all sorts of things while you lay there.  For some reason I thought of this.

It's a picture that Becki from AutumnBlazeBassets took of Freddie sticking his tongue out when he was little.

So, I got up. Got my computer turned on thinking I'd have some quiet time (besides the hacking and coughing).  Then the hounds got up.  'Cause they won't stay in bed without their Momma.(awwwe!)  Then they had to go out and do their business.  Then because ole Freddie had a giant poop, he was all fired up and wanted Gloria to play.  She said no.  So now he is under the coffee table ripping apart a kleenex he stole from the box on my nightstand.  Me being tired, sick, menopausal and itchy; I just looked at him and said, "You go Freddie!"  So now here we are, the three of us.  Fred ticked off that know one will play, going nuts on a kleenex, Gloria, now snoring on her bed beside the couch and me coughing and itching, trying to drink a warm cup of tea while having a huge hotflash!  And that folks is what goes on at our house at 1:13 a.m.

And yes, Freddie is still sticking out his tongue!

Well, at least Stevie is getting some sleep!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Remember When........

When you read this try to hum Alan Jacksons "Remember When" music through your head.

Remember when......

Freddie was puppy "G"

He was Beckis'
He didn't belong to me

Then we went up
I picked him out

And he was ours without a doubt

And we remember when.....

Freddie was so small

Then he grew up
But didn't get very tall

He learned to sit
and pee outside
He filled our hearts with pride

And we remember when

Now looking back
He's always been a brat

He tears around
Digs up our ground
But our love for him's still sound

And we remember when.

"I love ya Freddie!"

Friday, October 14, 2011

Toilet Paper

It's been a year and 3 months since we have had our toilet paper on the actual holder in the bathroom in our house. Why you ask? One word, FRED! So, this past week I tried putting it on the holder again and held my breath. He hasn't touched it in 5 days! I think I heard him quietly praying to himself yesterday.

"Dear Lord, it's been a week since I have ruined the toilet paper roll. Please help me to overcome my urge to rip and tear apart that white, soft, roll of fluffiness. Momma would be so proud of me!"

It has become a nasty habit and quite frankly it's embarrassing when you have company over and when they need to use your bathroom,  the roll of toilet paper is always sitting on the back of the toilet tank!

Oh, sure he acts all innocent and shy when we have people over.

"Oooooh!  Don't look at me!"

Yeah, no he doesn't. He's a bugger! I just thought those pictures were cute.

Anyway, Gloria, she's always there to help keep her eye on him. I took her aside to explain her brothers little addiction.

"Now Gloria, remember on the reruns of Lassie how he ran for help when Timmy fell down the well?"  "That's what I want you to do when you see Freddie starting to crack when he looks at that toilet paper roll."

"You can count on me, Momma."  "I've got your back."

Gloria is his support group, always there for him when he feels the urge to rip and tear. He loves his adoptive sister.

She's always there to lean on.

Little does he know she's really egging him on so he'll get into trouble.

Sometimes I look at him when he's sleeping and I'm overcome with the love I have for him.
Then I wonder, how can something so sweet and loveable be........

................SO DAMN DESTRUCTIVE!

Now, if I can just keep him out of the laundry basket!

Monday, October 10, 2011


We had our family Thanksgiving Day dinner yesterday.  It was great.  Since our Grandson Cameron started kindergarten this year, he made the centerpiece for our table.  It was awesome.

Our son Jake tried his first expresso.

Our daughter Brandi tried out her new Cannon Rebel camera that her husband Phill got her.

Steve gave thanks for the Seahawks pulling a win over the Giants.
Then we all ate too much.

And this pretty much explains how we all felt after.

Yes, even Freddie ate too much.

Happy turkey day!!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Oh, Freddie

God love him, he thinks I can't see him!

Like I've said before, not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Fred Coming in the Back Door

Sounds simple, doesn't it? Think again!
Gloria is such a lady, well most of the time. She does eat her own poo, but that's another story. She usually just goes outside, does her business and comes back in the house.

She doesn't like to stay out unless I am out there with her. She never wanders far from me that's for sure
Fred, well I think we all know it couldn't be that easy! He'll come to the door (in his own time of course) and scratch. Hopefully your not in a hurry to get him in and call his name, 'cause ya know he'll just high tail it the other way. So when he does come to the door and scratch, you open the door, he puts his front paws on the stoop and then.....
...he just stares at you.

"Come on! Come on in if your coming Freddie!" stare....stare....stare....finally you close the door
"Did Momma just shut the door in my face?"

Then, you guessed it! He scratches,wildly at the door. You open it he stares you down, you close it he scratches, etc....etc...etc... So now we have started to let Gloria in and just leave the door not quite closed so when Fred is darn good and ready (which is usually as soon as you ignore him) he can come in by himself.
Sooooooooooo this is how it goes when you let the dogs in at our house.
Gloria comes as soon as she is called, so happy to come in the house with her Momma. Then we call Freddie, push the door around and walk away. Then you hear Fred! Honestly it's like listening to a thriller movie........

"Grrrrrrr!" "Grrrrrrrrr!" "Grrrrrrrrr!" "Grrrrrrr!" "Grrrrrrrrr!" "Grrrrrrrr!"


......aaaand there he stands waiting for everyone to acknowledge that he has come into the house on his own terms. Then struts and I do mean struts, through the kitchen. Gives me a look as he goes by that says, "What are you waiting for peasant?" "Close that damn door!" Then he sticks his tongue out at Gloria and proceeds to his chair.
Kiss this!!

So in case your wondering the "Grrring" (is that a word?) is Fred rubbing his face on the straw mat at the back door and the bang of course is him throwing himself at the back door and the back door flying open into that little springy thing that stops it from wrecking your wall. And that my friends is how good ole Freddie comes in from outside.

Mr. Dramatica!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Jealousy Rears Its Ugly Head

Freddie Spaghetti is not taking too well to Gloria being on his couch. Sure he thought it was funny for awhile watching her try to struggle her way up onto it. Now that she is just jumping up like him whenever she wants, it ain't to funny anymore.

"Momma, we gotta talk."

"Seriously!" "What is going on here?" "This isn't funny anymore!"

"Gloria! Get off the couch!"

"I mean it, Gloria!"

"I'm not movin', you move!"

"No, you move!"

"No you move!"

"Aahhhhhhhh!" "That's better."

".......and I don't EVER wanna see you up here again, missy!" "Got it, B@*#ch!"

I have no idea where Freddie learned his potty mouth!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

What Gloria Done Did

Gloria was the one in a mood today. Every time I looked at her from the kitchen she'd assume the play stance with her head on the floor and her butt in the air and bark at me. When I'd try to get a picture, she'd run up to me so I couldn't get the shot. So, I took her outside to play. Fred finally trotted along and she was the one who pounced on him. Freddie just seemed pooped and wasn't interested in playing. (What's up with that?) So Gloria just rolled around by herself for a bit.

I tried to tell her it wasn't very lady like, but what else is a Momma to do when her little girl is sprawled out on the grass rolling around with her feet in the air!

Then after a quiet moment with Fred.....

"I love ya Freddie" "I love ya Gloria"

They came back in the house and assumed their positions.

Freddie on his, I mean, our couch

and Gloria on her bed.

After a few minutes Freddie jumped down and stretched out on the floor and then I couldn't believe my eyes. Gloria, actually got up and struggled her way onto the couch! I say struggle because it wasn't like she gracefully jumped up or anything, it was more like a person trying to climb into a boat they have fallen out of and maybe banged their head. I was shocked! Freddie was shocked! He looked up at her and said.....

"What the f#*@k, Gloria?"

You have to realize that she has never done this before. Freddie's the one who rules the furniture. What a rebel! It wasn't a pretty sight watching her get on that couch but I was quietly routing for her. ("Come on!You can do it!) Then, when she finally made it, I actually think she thought she might be in trouble as she wouldn't look at me when I talked to her.

"Gloria" "Gloria"

"OMG! What have I done?" "Just look away, pretend I can't hear Momma, that's what Freddie does."

Then she just said "Screw it" and curled up and went to sleep.

And that's what Gloria done did!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Princesses and Heroes

Sunday was a day for Princesses and Heroes. Our grandbaby "Princess Emma" celebrated her second birthday. My daughter made her an awesome elephant cake and pink frosted cupcakes. Her grandmother would have been proud.

I know she is my grandaughter and I may be a little bias, but come on! How stinkin' cute is this!

She makes your heart melt and your body ooze hugs and kisses.

She had lots of family and friends at her party. Heck, even the paparazzi showed up!

After blowing out her candle (okay her brother did it),

and eating her cake,

it was time for presents!

Her big brother dutifully helped her with gifts.

What a trooper!

The princess in pink even got some pink nail polish.

With the cake all gone and the presents all opened, she thanked her brother.....

relinquished her crown.....

and as she left the party I think I heard her mumble....

"I'm outta here!"

Happy Birthday sweetie pie!

The hero part of my Sunday was the Detroit Lions win over Dallas! It still brings a tear to my eye when I think of it. They were down by 24 at half time and yet again came back out, caught three interceptions (thank you very much Tony!) which put them back in the groove. They went on to win 34-30. Not only did they win but they caused the biggest collapse in the Cowboys history. Boooooyahhhhh!!!!!
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